And so it begins...

I'm a little fed up of people asking me what I do. Actually that's a lie. People asking me isn't the problem. It's my reply that I find irritating.

"What do you do?"  - usually asked by another mum in the school playground at pick-up time.

"Project administration," I reply, obviously irritating myself beyond words.

"Oh. That's nice." Their eyes glaze over and I can see their brains switch back into mother mode, mentally going through little Billy's busy after-school schedule. I don't blame them.

It's not nice. Well, it is. It's easy, reasonable well-paid for something completely undemanding and very flexible. I work with a bunch of lovely people and for a pretty progressive organisation. What's not to love?

But it's not me! What I want to say is "I'm a writer." I want to say it loudly and proudly. I want to run up to strangers in the street and share my happiness "I'm a writer you know. I write!" I want my son to be proud of me. I want him to know that you can do anything you want if you put your mind to it. I want to be proud of me.

So mulling over this rant that often rattles round and round in my head, I decided to give myself a good talking to. There is a side of me that is eminently sensible, warm and wise (so my friends tell me). This side of me is pretty darn good at offering advice and talking over problems. Unfortunately, this very sensible side only seems to make an appearance with friends. It is completely rubbish at talking to itself. You see my other side is a bit of a passive-aggressive cow that gets dragged down with the unfairness of life. But I thought it was about time I introduced sensible side to moans a lot but does nothing about it side. It was a short but revealing meeting.

"So, you want to be a writer?" asks sensible side in her best warm and wise voice.

"Yes. Well I kind of am because I used to be a journalist you know and I've had bits and bobs published. So I am sort of already a writer but not really the kind of one I want to be." witters moans a lot but does nothing about it side.

"Great, so what are you actually writing now? How can we take it forward to the next step?"

"Now? What you mean in between being a project administrator, full-time mother, housekeeper and general domestic drudge?" Moans a lot but does nothing about it replies defensively.

"So that would be nothing then? You want to be a writer but you aren't actually writing anything? You're just getting mad at the world instead?" Sensible side is trying to be calm and rational.

Moans a lot thinks for a moment and a little light bulb flickers dimly in her head, "Erm, yes."

"Right then! How exciting. Here's what we're going to do. Three words - just bloody write!"

And so it begins. My blog will be my workshop and I'm just going to bloody write. Because I'm a writer you know. I write!